freakin IMU

i sometimes feel like regretting being into IMU.we have obviously less class/day compared to the other medical schools.and NO TUTORIALS, okay?so, we are supposed to do lots of self learning, and to do that, it requires a lot of motivation.yela, at our very own sweet free time, what do we tend to do 1st?mstla bukak facebook jap, blogging jap.(akulah mangsa facebook terbaru.walaupun takdela menarik sgt fb ni)and studies come last..ok coming back to the issue here, dahla class sikit sgt,it is like 2 hours a day, clinical skills session once a week, PBL twice a week, n now they want to implement a system of e-learning where they put some sort of articulated lectures on net, and mansuhkan classes.kalau cmtu WHATS THE POINT OF PAYING A BLOODY SUM OF 28k PER SEMESTER, WHICH TOTALS UP TO ABOUT 300k FOR THE WHOLE 5 FREAKING YEARS IN IMU?? just to get lecture notes WHICH WE HAVE TO PRINT OURSELVES is it?their reason is, some of the students complain that they do not need lectures to succeed.dah camtu kau je la yang takyah datang lecture.i pity the students whom their parents pay for their fees, because they are not getting what their money worth.i am a bit less unfortunate la, because i am sponsored by the government, and tak terasa sangat beban student yg self sponsor.tapi memang ini tak patut terjadi di universiti taraf antarabangsa!

outing.

out to town today..went to sogo, with raiha, and my two little brothers.saje shopping2 raya before bz, selagi ada masa..i decided to go on weekdays to avoid the crowd.of course sogo was crowded like all the time, but today it was not so.still boleh shopping tanpa sebarang physical contact dgn oranglain.teman adik2 carik baju2 raya.ssh nak teman diorang.taste lg tinggi dr aku.patutla mama malas nak teman diorang.budak2 lelaki sedang membesar. mula2 pegi jln TAR (its sad that dat ppl are calling it in short, sbb nama Tunku sdh takde lg disebut pada nama jln tu).nak beli telekung baru yg cun2.kedai2 dia banyak, n they are all selling the same things.i wandered around, tgk2 kat kedai2 tu before beli.once i belek2, dorang dah mcm bagi discount mcm2, pastu blm ckp pape lg dah nak amek bag plastik.n they were practically begging me not to go and buy the telekung straight away from their stall.kesian sangat....i feel like buying things from all of them.bayangkanla, too little customers, and tooo many similar stalls, and similar stuffs!so imagine how they fight for customers.i always wonder why ppl tend to open similar kind of businesses eg fruit stalls, fabric store, etc etc too close to each other? are they all allocated to the same business venue by some authorities,perhaps?i dunno.i know nothing about business.next, midvalley.my 2nd brother wanted to buy his things at topman. his justification was, kat situ senang nak carik slim, tightfitting shirt.makin besar, makin kecik baju diorang.adik paling last belum terikut2 abang2 dia lagi, but sooner or later i bet he will.hehe.takpela, aku pun sama, lagi teruk.dah membesar, saiz baju tak besar2.tapi aku tak la pakai tightfitting shirt.at least not too tight.sedang2 sahaja.segan okey.but i'll try to improve the way i present myself, and membesarkan, not to forget memanjangkan saiz baju2 di masa akn datang.insyaallah.bila sampai rumah, kaki sangat sakit (cos i was sooo bijak to wear heels just because they matched the color of my dress the best).padan muka.bila balik rumah, lepak2 a while, and went straight to class.pathology of pituitary.nasib baik tak tido.so kesimpulannya..takde kesimpulan.bye2 for now.

2nd day of semester 4

as expected, things move at a very fast pace. 2 days over, but the workload is dreadful.finished CSU wk 1 (good!) and diagnostic english test. class today started at 415 and ended at 630.when we reached pakcik amir's stall, there is not much left.tak seronok.but im glad that today i did not experience any kind of headache which i usually have in evenings(normally it happens when i have things until evening, or excessive walk or going to malls the whole day or overcrowding).i planned to start revising early today, however its the other way round.im still sitting here in front of this stupid screen, facebooking.i know this would happen.i was so glad that friendster has became obsolete(so that i can reduce the temptation to go online) until i started facebooking.bahaya ni.better stop.im stopping now.tata~

sensitive sket blh takk??

tadi,masa bukak puasa, tertengokla cerita 3R kat tv3.frankly i dont really like that show.and today ada statu benda lagi yg ak tak berapa puas hati ngn cte tu.dulu..few episodes back(tu pun tertengok jgk) ada la surat dari pembaca punya segment.soalan dia cmnila.."kak, saya berusia 17 tahun yadaa yadaa..blh kah saya dan pasangan saya melakukan hubungan seks?"pastu that so-called motivator(kak azah-no title)ckpla.."kalau blh jangan laa..sbb nanti adik dpt STD..and nanti kalau mengandung siapa yang susah...tunggu la selepas kahwin ye?"and hari ni plak ada short sketch, bf dia ckp"sayang2, kte kan dah jadi couple almost 6 months kan...ape kata kte buat sth lebih intimate lagi?"..then gf dia kata(n btw, dorg ni skolah lagi).."eh,blhke?kalau mengandung cmne??"...pastu bf dia reply.."ala first time tak mengandung punye"(bodoh jgk dua ekor ni)pastu there was this pakar who clarified that every time buat hubungan seks boleh mengandung, provided that perempuan tu subur time tu..and after that terus couple tu decided to wait until they get married(if only).

so kesimpulannya..takde sorang or sekali pun dalam cte tu ckp buat seks sebelum kahwin tu haram.cam norm je.norm ke tak, haram tetap haram.dosa ttp dosa, bdk tadika pun tau..cte tu cm tak sensitive. n terlalu moden..tak sesuai jadi talk show untuk remaja.oke?harap maklum.

p/s ada bnyk jgk cte yg terlalu moden yang aku menyampah.mentang2 muka cm mat salleh sket dah tak ingat root.padahal nama cm jawa.

sem 4 here i come(nada tak berapa semangat)~

esok start sem 4.esok pagi2 dah ada PBL.bkn tak puas cuti,bukan tak semangat, tp takut..sbb makin lama makin byk cabaran, i figured out dat after dah 3 semester, i still cant find a way to get myself really really prepared for exam.nasib baikla sem ni takde exam.but theres summative test.and muet.still, this is not a honeymoon semester.still have to work hard.no more time to waste.

i also signed up to be one of the theater production team for Malay Cultural Week diz september.jadi member of stage design.i have ZERO experience or knowledge about theater.unlike my boyfriend who have tons of experience in that(and never liked to share).however, i just want to get myself involved in something, not medically related.uni life shud be filled with experience, lotsa activities(beneficial activities yea adik2!) and fun!(though i know its hard to juggle).being a student should not just being all about studies.it have to be about the life experience we gain.i hope this semester is going to be much better than the previous.and i hope Muna(the theater producer) dont expect me to have any experience about theater, cos i have NONE!the only experience i have in stage designing was being a member of biro keceriaan in boarding school (we prepared stage in events,designing, coloring, sketching, do stuff like gubah bunga(hehe) and set fountains) tu pun i bet it'd be nothing like designing a stage for a theater.

okay have to start revising the anatomy for endocrinology.i hope i will not look so dumb tomorrow.

finally.

finally.elective ends.teribbly.there r things that ive learnt.but not much.since we are only 2nd year meds student, all we can do is observe and ask and take note.blh jgk buat physical examination, tp takut plak, nanti tersalah palpate or percuss patient kat emergency department tu nanti, patah ribs dia, sape yg susah?some doctors are friendly.but most of them not.knp kne jd sombong ble dah jd doctor eh?in A&E, all we did was observing procedures, and no one cares if we were in or not..sbb masing2 busy.kalau mcmtu xpela..xleh nak slhkn sesape.because they r not paid to guid us.lagi2 la bdk IMU 2nd year yg taktau pape lg ni.tp serious stress kat sana, jalan2, tgk2, kadang2 tanya2 sket.kadang2 pg cafe makan2 sket.nobody cares.kat HUSM as what friends told me, they were assigned specialists, so bermakna sket la elective dorg.but this is life as a medical student, ikut nasib, mmg slalu akan kene marah, kalau sikit dah x tahan mmg takleh survive.ada org smpai takut nak dtg class sbb takut kne marah ngn lecturer.i take this elective as a endurance test.and to foresee how my life will look like in the future,kalau houseman dianggap mcm ameoba dlm hospital, medical student, lagi kecik, mcm virus.(kecik tp bahaya tau,jgn main2).okay.sudahla hospital ipoh.i may not come back, but if i were to work there again, u better take me seriously next time.

finally.holiday is nearly over.sem 4 is about to start.first day, ada PBL.have to be prepared.azam baru setiap sem, jadi nye tak. but i realise that i dont have much time until EOS5.raami orang yg suka cuti, takmau masuk cls balik..but not for me.kata la ape pun.skema ke, nerd ke.for me, sikap macamtu yg buat orang melayu terkebelakang.sikap malas.i am neither superduper rajin nor excellent gila in exams, however, i do not dare to let myself being lazy,being ordinary.

finally, ramadhan is coming.i just hope this one would be much better than before.semoga aku dapat hidayah bulan ramadhan ini.amin~

weekend in ipoh

we went out to jusco/kinta city ipoh.went shopping, lunch, and bowling.i can say, jusco kat situ besar, and if i were to do my housemanship kat ipoh pun sanggup kot..selain perasaan jauh hati kepada hospital ipoh itu....went home around 730pm.keluar balik for dinner at 930.dine in at a mamak place tepi sungai kinta, and the place was big, and the interior makes me feel like im in a mediterranean restraunt or something.lawa.ipoh malam2 mmg cantik..neon lights in most of the roads.but the thing that is prominent in ipoh is that.ramai orang melepak tepi jalan.cos they have this padang, and dataran that are dark and gloomy enuff for them to do some hang ups.ye ke?memandai je..and secondly, kampung2 kat ipoh, banyak sgt kedai makan..sangaaaattt....satu kampung tu estimated to have around 20 restaunts, or at least foodstall.and my ipoh friend tu penah rasa makanan at almost all of the places.orang ipoh mmg tak suka masak kot?the weekend wasnt really a failure.though we planned to go to penang but didnt.
sunday-nak pegi PC fair.though im not into this stuff, i am willing to go as long as im not stuck home alone.kene wear mask ke?yikes hope not!

skarang orang suka sgt pakai mask eh?its a good thing laa..tp bdk2 skolah lepak2 ddk je kat kerusi2 mall tu pun pakai mask.sekadar nak ddk2 je baik ddk2 kat umah je.PMR pun tak lepas lagi, suka sangat melepak!

i want to go home!!

friday.

the mask is killing me.i feel very dizzy and i feel like vomitting in that.i was breathing in my very own exhaled hot air, and that did not feel good, okay?menyusahkan betul la H1N1 ni!dah tahan dah, so i decided to lepak at the library.had a chat with siddarth, andwent back to emergency dept to check on them.when i reached A&E, the doctors were busy putting on a chest tube into a chest of a male patient who i believe to suffer from pneumothorax.lps tu ada a couple of students datang(from RMCP), and few mins later, officer kat A&E tu pggl bdk2 IMU.dia ckp sbb A&E ni dah sesak so dia srh ktorang pg blek ke office, and apply for new department.i was like what the heck?we came here earlier then those RMCP(Royal Medical College Perak) students, ktorang plak yg kne pegi?
ok2 fine..ni kan teaching hospital korang..hamek la..tak ingin pun.

then we headed to Greentown Mall again.sbb Ema dah mimpi2 nak beli handphone kat ctu, sbb murah dr harga kat KL.makan kat foodcourt.i ordered tomyam.pastu few minutes later i tny dia, dah masak ke blm, dia kata blm, so i kata, tuka la..nasi gorang ayam.pastu dia kata, kalau tuka kne masuk queue blek.lambat la..i cakap npe la plak?tuka je..pastu dia cm tak phm2 so i dgn bengang nye blah je.dahla before that ada budak2 main gelak2 tolak2 gedik2 dpn aku, pastu terlanggar aku.dia ckp sorry.aku senyum2 tak ikhlas.dah la makanan smpai lambat.dorg dah abes mkn baru nak sampia mknn.bengang nyeee...dah la food court tu pnh ngn stdnt RMCP tu..rasa nak set food court tu on fire je.

tension ptg2 kat cni, sbb asek tdo je.yg lain2 sume tdo lama, and malas nak kuar, so things are soooo boring here.weekend ni cam nak balik KL je, tp takde orang nak amek plak..gila la kot nak ddk cni lama2.

apa2la.survivr jela.
the moral is.jgn buat elective kat hosp ipoh.buat ket tmpt kne bayar.at least they assign doctors to guide.
kalau dah jd doctor tu, jgn la sombong sgt kat medical student.cm dorg tak pnh cmtu je.ntah2 lagi teruk.blah laa doctor2 yg sombong tu.
doctor2 yg baik yg slalu entertain ktorang kat A&E tu, thankyou a lot.tapi takpela..mggu dpn ktorang bawak diri g O&G plak.jgn cakap rindu kat ktorang plak eh abg awe?(MA pujaan kak hasni)

nak balik cepat.cptla masuk sem, dah nak sakit otak cuti ni.kemalasan kills.

third day of ipoh hospital elective

ok.1st day was a total disaster.we came early at 8 but it seemed like they werent ready.the vice director wasnt in.so kteorang takleh stast taht day.we went home with frustration.mmgla geram.ktorang dah bwk official letter, blh lak kata tak confirm.ktorang balik n that evening we head to air terjun Chepor in Chemor.mandi puas2.xramai sgt orang, so ktorang buat tmpt tu mcm ktorang pny je.2nd day, we came n at 3.bcos dah ptg, penat, so we came home early.went to greentown mall.find some stuff, then head home.rasa cm penat je, sbb takde byk benda yg dibawa, tade pape sgtla nak buat.today was the 3 rd day, and things have been a bit better. we came in at 8, and after a brief chat with the MO in charge in the semi critical ward in emergency department, we starting observing any procedures done on the casualties. At first, the ward was a bit empty, but after a while, the buzzer started to buzz very frequently.i short buzz for semi criitcal ward.so we know that an emergency case is about to be presented.and at about 9, the ward was congested, and chaotic to the extent that they have to pull in plastic chairs for the not very critical patients to be seated.nowadays orang yang demam pun dah kne masuk emergency ward.

basically dlm ramai2 patient tu, ada satu dua case yg aku tertarik utk write down. a 67 yr old pakcik who believed to be a psiciatric patient was lying down on a bed for a while now.i tny ngn MO tu, what is he all about, the doctor said sbnry takde pape..just dia stressed,physically stable.dlu dah pnh discharged, tp anak2 dia anta balik ke hospital with so many excuses.myb sebab leceh nak jaga.pakcik tu cerita, dalam 8 orang anak dia, sorang je yg jaga dia.tu pun anak dia yg sorang tu keje, so nobody is taking care of him, talk to him, give him love.he prefers to stay at the hospital rather than being left alone, without any love given. dia kata buat apa balik , takde orang yg nak bagi mkn ubat, kat hospital ada orang jaga..sebak jgk dgr..nak nangis pakcik tu bercerita.sedih sangat..napela anak2 buat orang tua mcmtu..myb la ssh nak jaga, tapi tak ingat ke mcmana dorang jaga kte dari kecik, anak2 dah besar pun lagi ssh nak jaga.tp taktaula mungkin nanti one day aku terasa mcmtu jgk, tp mtk dijauhkanla..

anothe case yg comel,a boy, known asthmatic, present with acute respiratory exercabation.ble nak withdraw blood and nak infuse meds I/V, MA tu tak blh nak cari median cubital vein dia.jarum tu masuk, kuar blek, for many times.bdk tu meraung2, screaming "tolong la kuar...tolonglaaa.." sedih pun ada, comel pun ada. dah la tembam budak tu. tapi sedih la sbb mak dia nangis2..mak dia ckp, tu la adik, mama kata jg main kat luar lama2, adik degil, jangan minum ais, adik degil...lepas itu saya bace buku and tido di library.haha.

tiba2 rindu mama saya.

okie mahu stdy fot tomoro.

a lot of youtube today.

yesterday,had a long walk+chat+shopping+gossiping with two of my good-forever-together mates nabilah(bee) n dhuha.it was nice to just sit down and chat..ive been wanting to see bee ever since she flew back here from poland but she was busy with her hospital rotations.bee slept over last night, and we stayed up late because dhuha was busy packing her stuff, for her and yani's backpacking trip.and they left at around 4 in the morning.siap bergambar dlm gelap lagi.semangat.nasib baik dhuha tak terus pakai sunglasses that she just bought dr dlm rumah lg.heee kiddin.and after subuh i was soooo tired and slammed back to bed.oh,no.on the sofa.we all slept at the hall last night.and this noon, bee went home,after another long chat.berborak tak habis2.then, i said to myself..ok mira..study..u r going to ipoh in a day time u dont wanna look stupid and end up napping in the surau like u did in PD hospital do you?so i took my newly bought Oxford Handbook of Clinical Medicine, and started to read.but i felt so alone(the juniors are going to their classes pagi2 lagi)so i decided to switch on my laptop and get online.i dont really like going online, because i get boring easily.then i remember a you tube video dhuha ws watching the other day.The video was from an Australian muallaf, Kimberly who is usually known as Kimdonesia who has been producing a lot of videos about Islam, fashion in Islam, or just random things about her.Then in started clicking to every other videos of her.She is very popular in Youtube, and plus, she is veryyyy cute.then i studied a bit before getting distracted again.hmmm..so in summary, i did a little study today, and a lot of youtube.

The same like what dhuha commented in her blog, this girl really amaze me too.She is still young, younger than me if im not mistaken, but she thinks better than most of the Muslims out there. It makes me ponder for a while, she's new and she's very good.but ive been raised as Muslim, n yet i could not be as religious as her.i am ashamed of myself for a while.hmm..i have to do a lot of self-revision.frankly, i am not proud to be the person i am now, i still want to improve.i do not want to be the kind of Muslim woman who disgrace this pure religion.And i am worried with how our Malay kids and youngters grow nowadays.there are too much of unthinkable things that happen nowadays, which you never want to think of.i dont want to be one of them.i dont wanna go to hellfire plsss God.

Take me to your light...